Gaming is Toxic – For me!

It's not actually bad, really

I'm kinda done with talking to other players or atleast, depends of when I really want to join him in the game. I'm kinda disappointed in what he did, like actually, it's not good, it made me felt so silly and idiotic.

So after months of trying out my new pc on gaming things, I’ve finally made my conclusion on gaming, it makes me more devastated and non-productive. I know I should have to do my responsibilities as a youtuber but instead of doing it, I ended up playing games that are pretty nonsense to my life. I’m not yet a fully established streamer like other people who does stream almost their entire life, it’s not because I can’t do it, it’s just because I felt like I really want to do Lifestyle not games all day everyday, it makes me sick and craves for more food. I want a good healthy life doing what I want not just by staring at my computer and do stream shits.

Solstice Armour

Suddenly, I felt like gaming is toxic for me.

Streaming is not that hard if I just want to be a full time gaming streamer but I established and called myself a Lifestyle Vlogger where in I document my life in a video. I know that sometimes I crave for games but I felt like I just wanna do it as a hobby because trying to stream it felt like it’s kinda not doing anything for me. Twitch is kinda hard to gain people to watch me but in youtube, I find doing it much easier as atleast there are people who watches me because of the views I have in each of my video.

Gaming is a vast massive world of people playing. It’s much like google but games not blogposts or anything. I’ve met a lot of people in games I played. Destiny 2 and Anthem are on of those big games I ended up making friends to other players. It’s fun, exciting and enjoyable but not be able to see them is a saddening part for me.

The most toxic thing ever is when you got to meet people who are very rude to you or to me even if I didn’t do anything wrong. Yeah I get it that sometimes players are very competitive and very strategic in what they do. I don’t know why sometimes people thought I’m doing the wrong thing but to be honest, I’m being kind to them.

People invited me in a chat room called Discord, sometimes I don’t feel like talking in the microphone, I told them of course why I don’t wanna talk and told them my microphone is kinda fucked up and it’s not working. They understood me at first but after that, they kicked me out of the chatroom and kicked me out of the game, RUDE RIGHT? It’s fine but I felt like I’m being left behind then I saw a picture of a girl in one of the players, I thought he was a girl but a guy just using a photo of a woman in there but it makes me feel like a loser or something and hello I’m also a girl, he should’ve respected me the way he respect other woman out there. It’s just annoying seriously how people can be so rude, stupid and actually, I really don’t want to make gaming as my job like really, it doesn’t do anything for me.

I’m kinda done with talking to other players or atleast, depends of when I really want to join him in the game. I’m kinda disappointed in what he did, like actually, it’s not good, it made me felt so silly and idiotic.

I didn’t say gaming is bad, I’m just saying that sometimes it makes me feel like it’s not for me. Gaming is not a good thing to do while I still have important things left stacked in here and not be able to finish them. I felt like because of gaming, I wasn’t able to do my real work or real task in life because I’m easily get destructed by games. They are fancy and cute and fun.

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Gaming is Toxic – For me!